Cara Flame
Tempted? How to Break Your Purity Pledge
(and end up with the person of your dreams)
A Book About Breaking Free
This book is for those of us who’ve been caught in the web of Christianity, for those who’ve felt the weight of purity pledges and the strain of religious expectations.Â
This is a book about deconstructing everything you’ve been taught, about reclaiming your sexuality, your joy, your desires.Â
We should be celebrating the wondrous, beautiful being that is your body—far from evil, as far as you could get.
My Dear Friend,
It’s been years, hasn’t it? Years of friendship, shared faith, shared experiences. I know you may not see me as still being “in the faith”—because I left. I left Christianity, and I left the safety of silence.
I left a monogamous marriage.
I left monogamy altogether.Â
I left heterosexuality behind. That last one was a big deal, wasn’t it?Â
I didn’t tell you at first because I was scared—scared you’d reject me.Â
Crazy, isn’t it? All those years, all that love between us, and still, I was afraid you’d shut me out for being honest about who I am. But it’s not crazy, is it? Because that’s what our faith taught us. God is love, but only if you don’t disagree. Only if you don’t question. If you do, there’s fire, there’s torment. We twisted our minds to believe that, didn’t we? That illogical, impossible binary. They call it religious trauma now. The way your brain gets twisted, your psyche contorted by these teachings—that’s trauma. It’s taken me years to unpack it all, and I’m still unpacking.
The Trauma of Belief
Remember the things we did in the name of faith?Â
The way we judged others, thinking we were loving them?Â
The way we judged ourselves, believing it was God’s love?Â
But it wasn’t love, was it? It was coercion.
It was control, carefully woven into a book by men who wanted to build an empire.
What would you write if you wanted to control an empire?
Meet
Cara Flame
Meet Cara Flame
Performer, Relationship Anarchist, ex-cult member, and advocate for freedom – Cara Flame knows the journey.Â
Raised in a fundamentalist evangelical church, she dedicated her life to the gospel of Jesus, believing in no sex before marriage, believing that her purpose was to serve her husband and the church.Â
But after years of searching, of suppressing, Cara found the strength to break free, to speak out, to live her truth.
The Ultimate Control
“Have confidence in your leaders and submit to their authority” (Hebrews 13:17)
“Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands” (Ephesians 5:22)
“Women should remain silent in the churches” (1 Corinthians 14:34)
“Do not deprive each other except perhaps by mutual consent and for a time, so that Satan will not tempt you” (1 Corinthians 7:5)
“Slaves, obey your earthly masters with respect and fear” (Ephesians 6:5)
That’s the ultimate control, isn’t it? Don’t worry about having a difficult life now; you’ll be rewarded in heaven.Â
But what about you, my friend?Â
Have you ever been tempted to love without fear of punishment?Â
To believe that joy and happiness are good? To live your life for you?Â
I was tempted. It took me over 20 years to question it all, 20 years to renounce the Christian church publicly. I was tempted and finally chose to believe the one truth I’d been taught: love.Â
But not the version of love we were living—it was something much more beautiful.
This book is dedicated to us. To the love we deserve.Â
From Control to Freedom
Cara’s journey took her from a devout Christian, through a Pentecostal cult, and finally to freedom. She spoke out against the Esther Foundation, the cult she joined, and sparked a media storm that led to a parliamentary inquiry.Â
But more than that, she found herself. She embraced the pansexuality she’d been repressing, the freedom she’d longed for, and the joy she’d been denied.
How long will you let these beliefs control you?
Joy on the Other Side
On the other side of that temptation? Breath.
Sure, there’s heartache. You lose people. There’s grief for the life you knew and the way you
lived.
But there’s also joy—real, deep joy.
Not the feeling you get when the right chords are played in church, but actual joy that comes
from within, from being yourself, from finding yourself.
And you won’t be alone. There are thousands of us out here, a great cloud of witnesses, all
walking this path of freedom and self-discovery.
Are You Ready?
When you leave the church, they say, “She never really knew the Lord.” “She had a bad
experience, but my faith is stronger.” I know this because I used to say it, and now, it’s been said
about me countless times. But the truth is, I gave everything to Jesus—my time, my money, my
heart. I was sold out for God.
And slowly, stitch by stitch, belief by belief, it all unraveled. It left holes in my soul, but those
holes were filled with something new: me. My desires. My love. My real, true self.
Grab your copy of Tempted? How to Break Your Purity Pledge (and end up with the person of your dreams) now. It’s time to embrace your desires, reclaim your joy, and live your truth.
The Body Remembers
Deconstructing from a religion that’s been your life isn’t just about healing your mind. It’s about healing your body, too. Our bodies hold on to the trauma, the suppression. But they also come alive when we break free. They breathe, they desire, they find joy.
“My work is about play, about freedom, about finding your voice and using it. It’s about discovering what’s essential for your happiness. It’s messy, it’s raw, and it’s completely uncensored. It’s about walking this path with me, together, toward joy.
This is the first in a series of e-books. I’m also creating a course to walk with you on this journey—whether it’s art, nature, sex, or anything else that brings you joy. This journey is about embracing it all—uncensored, raw, and real.” Cara Flame
Be the first to hear about Cara’s courses and new e-books.
For enquiries and to connect with Cara you can email her at cara@caraflame.com
Copyright @ 2025 Cara Flame